Extracts from A Prayer Book for Australia
A Funeral Service for a Child
This service is designed for the funeral of a young child. If the child was a baby under a year old, the service ‘for an infant dying near the time of birth’ may be more appropriate. If the child was in or near teenage years, the service ‘for use in a church building, funeral chapel, or at the home’, suitably adapted, may be more helpful.
1 A hymn, anthem or canticle may be said or sung, or music may be played.
2 The minister greets the congregation.
Grace and peace from the Lord be with you.
And also with you.
The minister continues with these or similar words
We come together with a deep sense of loss
at the death of this child, N.
We share this sadness with his/her family,
and seek to support them in their grief.
Jesus taught that the Kingdom of God belongs to children.
Therefore in faith and trust we turn to him.
3 One or more of these or other suitable verses of Scripture may be read.
The Lord God will feed his flock like a shepherd,
he will gather the lambs in his arms,
and carry them in his bosom.
Isaiah 40.11
Beloved, we are God’s children now;
what we will be has not yet been revealed.
What we do know is this: when he is revealed,
we will be like him, for we will see him as he is.
1 John 3.2
The Lamb at the centre of the throne will be their shepherd,
and he will guide them to springs of the water of life,
and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Revelation 7.17
If appropriate, the Sermon may follow at this point.
4 One or both of the following prayers are said.
a God of all love,
your Son welcomed little children in his arms
and blessed them.
Grant to us now the assurance
that N is encircled by his arms of love.
Comfort us in our grief, and strengthen our faith and hope
in your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
b Heavenly Father, source of love and comfort,
be with us in our bewilderment and loss.
We know that N is safe and secure in your love and care.
Console us, and heal the hurt we feel.
We ask this through Jesus Christ, who died and rose again
to lead us all to eternal life. Amen.
All may say together
c In darkness and in light,
in trouble and in joy,
help us, O God, to trust your love,
to seek your purpose,
and to praise your name;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
5 Family members, friends or the minister may be invited to speak of the child who has died.
Members of the family and congregation may be invited to place flowers and/or symbols of the child’s life on the coffin.
A period of silence and/or music may follow.
6 One of the following psalms may be said.
The response (R) may be used where marked.
Psalm 23
R I will fear no evil, for you are with me
The Lord is my shepherd:
therefore can I lack nothing.
He shall make me lie down in green pastures:
and lead me beside still waters. R
He shall refresh my soul:
and guide me in right pathways for his name’s sake.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil:
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff comfort me. R
You spread a table before me
in the presence of those who trouble me:
you have anointed my head with oil
and my cup shall be full.
Surely your goodness and loving-kindness
shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. R
From Psalm 130
R My soul looks for the Lord
Out of the depths have I called to you, O Lord:
O Lord, hear my voice;
Let your ears be attentive:
to the voice of my supplication. R
I wait for the Lord; my soul waits for you:
in your word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord,
more than sentries for the morning:
more than sentries for the morning. R
From Psalm 103
R God’s mercy endures for ever
You, O Lord, are full of compassion and mercy:
slow to anger and of great goodness. R
For as high as are the heavens above the earth:
so great is your mercy upon those who fear you.
As far as the east is from the west:
so far have you removed our sins from us. R
As a father cares for his children:
so is your care, O Lord, for those who fear you.
For you know of what we are made:
you remember that we are but dust. R
But your loving-kindness, O Lord
endures for ever and ever
on those that fear you:
and your righteousness on their children’s children. R
7 One or more of the following, or some other suitable passage from Scripture, is read.
Isaiah 11.6–9
The wolf shall live with the lamb,
the leopard shall lie down with the kid,
the calf and the lion and the fatling together,
and a little child shall lead them.
The cow and the bear shall graze,
their young shall lie down together;
and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
The nursing child shall play over the hole of the asp,
and the weaned child shall put its hand on the adder’s den.
They will not hurt or destroy on all my holy mountain;
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea.
From Lamentations 3
My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten
what happiness is;
so I say, ‘Gone is my glory,
and all that I had hoped for from the Lord.’
My soul continually thinks of it,
and is bowed down within me.
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul,
‘therefore I will hope in him.’
The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul that seeks him.
For the Lord will not reject for ever.
Although he causes grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
for he does not willingly afflict or grieve anyone.
Revelation 21.1–7
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth;
for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.
And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem,
coming down out of heaven from God,
prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying,
‘See, the home of God is among mortals.
He will dwell with them as their God;
they will be his people,
and God himself will be with them;
he will wipe every tear from their eyes.
Death will be no more:
mourning and crying and pain will be no more,
for the first things have passed away.’
And the one who was seated on the throne said,
‘See, I am making all things new.’
Also he said,
‘Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.’
Then he said to me,
‘It is done!
I am the Alpha and Omega,
the beginning and the end.
To the thirsty I will give water as a gift
from the spring of the water of life.
Those who conquer will inherit these things,
and I will be their God,
and they will be my children.’
P style="text-align:justify; margin-left:24px; line-height:15px">Matthew 18.1–5
At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such in my name welcomes me.’
Mark 10.13–16
People were bringing little children to Jesus
in order that he might touch them;
and the disciples spoke sternly to them.
But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them,
‘Let the little children come to me; do not stop them;
for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.
Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom
of God as a little child will never enter it.’
And he took them up in his arms,
laid his hands on them, and blessed them.
Other suitable passages include:
Romans 8.31–38, Ephesians 3.14–19 (printed in Funeral for an Infant), 1 Peter 1.3–9, Luke 8.43–56.
8 The Sermon, if not already preached, follows here.
Silence may follow.
A hymn may be sung, or music played.
9 The minister says
Let us pray for N’s family and friends.
A pause may be left for private prayer.
The minister says one or both of the following prayers.
a God of all mercy, your wisdom is beyond our understanding.
Look graciously, we pray, on all who grieve, especially ...
Surround them with your love,
that they may not be overwhelmed by their loss,
but trust in your goodness and strength
to help them face the future;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
b Loving God,
your arms stretch far and wide to embrace those in need.
Look with pity upon the sorrows of all
for whom our prayers are offered…
Remember them, O Lord, in mercy.
Nourish their souls with patience.
Comfort them with a sense of your goodness.
Look upon them in love, and give them peace;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Further prayers for those who mourn may be offered.
10 The minister continues
Let us give thanks for N’s life.
Heavenly Father,
your love for your children is strong and enduring.
Thank you for the gift of your child, N, especially for
the way s/he grew and developed
the way in which s/he reached out to others
the way s/he discovered the world around her/him
her/his love of school and hobbies,
her/his friendships,
her/his courage in suffering
those who have cared for N ...
Keep alive among us the good of her/his example,
especially N’s
enjoyment of ...
skill in ...
commitment to ...
that we may live as children of the same heavenly Father;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Further thanksgivings may be made.
11 The minister continues
Let us join together in the prayer which the Lord Jesus gave us.
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours
now and for ever. Amen.
12 The minister says
Let us commend this child N to the love of God our Father.
The minister continues with one or both of the following prayers.
a God of all life and love,
in faith and trust we leave N in your keeping,
a lamb of your own flock, a child of your own creating.
May we rejoice with him/her in your eternal kingdom;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
b Tender shepherd of the flock,
We trust in your promise that N has entered your kingdom,
and now lies cradled in your love.
Soothe our hearts, and bring peace to our lives.
Enlighten our faith and give hope to our hearts.
Grant mercy to your entire family in this time of suffering.
Comfort us in the knowledge that this child N
lives with you and your Son, Jesus Christ,
and the Holy Spirit, now and for ever. Amen.
13 If the Committal is not performed at a later time, it may be included here.
It may be helpful for mourners to join in some symbolic acts of farewell.
Facing or touching the coffin, the minister says
We have entrusted N to God’s merciful keeping,
and we now commit her/his body
to be cremated
to be buried in the ground
in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life
though our Lord Jesus Christ,
who died, was buried, and rose again for us.
To God be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
14 The minister continues
Peace be to us all, and love with faith,
from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
Ephesians 6.23
The minister may say
Go in peace in the name of Christ. Amen.
15 A hymn may be sung or other music used as the coffin is taken out, and the congregation leaves.
At the Graveside or the Crematorium
16 When the body is brought to the place, the minister meets it at the entrance.
If appropriate, a hymn may be sung or other music used.
One or more of these or other appropriate sentences from Scripture may be read.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!
By his great mercy he has given us a new birth
into a living hope
through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.
1 Peter 1.3
The Lamb at the centre of the throne will be their shepherd,
and he will guide them to streams of living water,
and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Revelation 7.17
God is our hope and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalm 46.1
17 It may be helpful for mourners to join in some symbolic acts of farewell before or after the committal: touching or carrying the coffin, placing it in the ground or on the catafalque, placing flowers upon it or in the grave.
Facing the coffin, and at a burial while earth is cast upon it, the minister says
We have entrusted N to God’s merciful keeping,
and we now commit his/her body
to be cremated
to be buried in the ground
earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust
in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life
through our Lord Jesus Christ,
who died, was buried, and rose again for us.
To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
At a burial, family members or friends may be invited to assist in casting earth upon the coffin, either here or at the end of the service.
18 The Lord’s Prayer may be said.
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours
now and for ever. Amen.
Further prayers may be offered.
The minister says
Lord, listen to the prayers of this family
who put their trust in you.
In their sorrow at the death of N
may they find their hope in you.
We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
10 One or more of the following sentences are said together or by the minister.
Peace be to us all, and love with faith,
from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
Ephesians 6.23
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God,
and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with us all. Amen.
2 Corinthians 13.14
The minister may say
Go in peace in the name of Christ. Amen.